Sunday, August 17, 2025

The Most Intense Detention Of My Life (Ft. 13-year-old me & My middle-school counselor)

[Excuse me for mild profanity used in the first few paragraphs of this story.]

Left to right: The suspect, Mr. R, me (15), Mrs. P, me (13)

I realize I don't talk often about my personal stories on my blog, probably because my memories are often embarrassing or ridiculous. However, I was re-watching the Sonya from Toastville episode "Breaking Bread" (underrated show btw), and the plot involved Sonya getting detention over a misunderstanding, which reminded me of THIS absurd story, involving a time I got a full-class detention. But before we can talk about that absurd story...

My First Two Detentions

I've gotten detention 3 times...all during 8th grade. I know that sounds like way more detentions than someone like I'd get, but it was because during my 8th grade year I was um-...how do I put this bluntly? A DUMBASS. By this point in my life my inferiority complex and grandiose sense of self-entitlement was starting to become...way more noticeable than I wanted it to be. And it bled through some of my 7th and 9th grade year as well, although 8th grade was MOST memorable...cuz it was my first real year as a teenager.

My first detention was over something surprisingly simple...I forgot to do my homework over the weekend. Yep. That's it. No flashy story, I just forgot to do it. I'm not sure why that warranted a detention, considering I had done worse in the past. Y'know, like... punching a student. Yep. (Story for another day!) But hey, there's a start for everything. Detention was actually very uneventful. Literally just one other student and I caught up with my homework.

The second time I got detention I think was more justifiable, mostly due to what would some call an "inappropriate reaction". One factor of my inferiority complex is always trying to one up or get mad at the other immature kids in my class who would act out and be goofballs. We all know those obnoxious students. Ironically, by doing so, I myself was an immature student. And many of my classmates who I hated I'm actually on good terms now, if you would believe it.

Anyway, one time where this really got problematic was when I was being a little bitch during the middle of math class and I think I wrote "fuck you" on one of the trouble-making student's desks, because they were annoying me. Hmm...I feel there's some deep irony going on here. Teacher got into the debacle, and whadya know, I got detention.

Again. It was very uneventful. I of course look back at that moment and cringe with how bad I handled the situation.

But wait...there's one more detention we have to talk about.

The Fire Cracker Incident

"Wait, what?!"

Hold your horses! Don't worry, I wasn't that stupid. 

Ok, November 27th, 2023. It's 3rd period, Civics. Our teacher at the time, who I'll simply call Mr. R was getting tired of teaching about the Constitution, because a lot of students were distracted on the Nearpod and goofing around. Y'know, classic churlish middle school shenanigans.

Then things escalated when we heard-... a bang. Like, just a crack. A pop.

Kinda like a fire cracker or something. I'm not sure what it fully was, but it was loud and noticeable.

Obviously the entire class stopped when the disruption happened...and Mr. R lost it. I don't remember what he said, but all I know is that by the end, he said that if the person who didn't cause the crack confess, he would give the ENTIRE class detention.

EVERYONE FREAKED OUT.

Now, it was around 1:05 when this happened, some time before the end of the period. If the culprit didn't confess by then, everyone would be screwed. So, understandably, it turned into some sort of Among Us like investigation where everyone had eyes on each other, particularly around the table where it was found.

It was around this time that-...for some reason, 13-year-old me decided to start writing an email to my counselor that I keep referencing (who I'll refer to as Mrs. P). This email is still available, so I'll be taking some excerpts of it since it's actually pretty decent- and hey, who else to provide an accurate description of the incident than a literal victim at the exact time? *ahem*

In 13-Year-Old Me's Words

"It wasn't a broken pencil, it wasn't a book landing on the floor, it was POPPER. You know, those things at birthday parties and fireworks? So immediately the class went silent and Mr. R just went off on us, and then said that if the person who threw it didn't fess up, he'd give the WHOLE class detention. Initially, I thought he was joking since he's said this stuff before, but no, he legitimately was saying by the end of class if the person wasn't being a chicken (hey, his words not mine), we'd be in his class at 2:20 - 3:00. I was immediately horrified realized he was being for reals, and immediately panicked that someone's churlish out of pocket stupidity would lead to not only my 3rd detention but to everyone's else's after school plans being ruined. I bet this was a multitude of people's first detentions as well.

After that, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE turned on each other. There was yelling and frustrating [sic] shouting, people randomly pointing figures at each other. I was worried that this wouldn't even be in the school's conduct- I mean, you can't give 30 KIDS punishment for ONE KIDS actions. I actively recorded some of the drama in case the detention did get served. Of course, I didn't want Mr. R fired, but I did feel this was a power imbalance.

As the class silenced down, Mr. R redirected us to the next lesson, and I already completed most of it, so I uh, continued to panic as the clock approached 1:15. So...I wrote this ahead of time. Yeah, I haven't already been served detention yet, but I feel this story is so unnecessarily bizarre that I just have to write it down. Right now, there are 4 minutes of class, and he hasn't fully confirmed if we all have detention. Oh- it's 3 now. I better finish my assignments before I update you. If it's a false alarm, I'll still send it because it's kinda...kinda...honestly, I don't know. Grammarly says I sound concerned, assertive, and confident. :shrug: I'll just put a clarification at the beginning."

You know, I actually still write a lot like me from 2 years ago. Some things never change.

But what didn't change is the punishment. I would soon update the email before sending it. Take it again, 13-year-old me.

"1:20 - NOPE WE'RE ALL SCREWED. WE'RE ACTUALLY SCREWED. NO ONE CONFESSED. NO ONE.

Not all hope is lost though. We still have some evidence of who may done it, and if the person confesses during detention, we'll be let out EARLY. Unfortunately, it looks like that's not going to happen, so...uh...I'll reply just in case it does happen. 

Anyway, gonna try and relax in math before suffering my fate. To be honest I was already sad and angry this morning because my terrible deadline skills meant I couldn't finish an assignment in time. But at least I would just get a lowered grade from that. NOT 40 MINUTES OF MY LIFE DOWN THE DRAIN."

Aw, rest in peace 13-year-old me. I do remember failing to finish that Health assignment...I'm still upset about that.

Anyway, one boring-math period later, and because the idiot who started this mess in the first place was still being cowardly, EVERYONE had to go to Mr. R's class. Let's see what I had to think about it.

The Erratic Email

"2:38 - Update...

HE WASN'T JOKING. I REPEAT: HE WAS NOT JOKING. I am actually in his classroom now when I could be home enjoying myself. (I mean, I'd actually be in the lobby, more on that later) I hope that person's happy. I hope they go home and feel ashamed of themselves. I know that sounds kinda cruel, but could you really feel happy for yourself in a situation like this?

This detention will probably be talked about for the rest of the week, as it's already been talked about a million times in the hallways alone. In fact, I hope this incident continues to be talked about because I just want JUSTICE and PUNISHMENT on whoever did this even though they've already been punished with everyone else, I think they deserve DOUBLE detention because think of it- not only did they cause a disruption in the class, their cowardness caused a whole class of children to basically be held hostage (again Mr. R's words), which probably caused their schedules to be disrupted."
Pfttt, 13-year-old me has the same overdramatic crash-out attitude as current me has. Again, some things never really change.

One good thing that never changed about me was looking at the situation from multiple angles, as well (although this will be more noticeable later):

"You know, Mr. R is being unnecessarily cruel, and I've probably written him to be the villain of this situation, but on some level, I understand. I just wish it didn't have to come to this. He recently said that we should tell our parents what happened, and that birthed an ethical dilemma: should I tell either one of my parents that Mr. R gave the entire class detention over a kid throwing a popper? What if they think it's my fault? What if they try and deal it up with the school? I REALLY don't want to start much more drama over this than I need to, but at the same time, as I said, I NEED JUSTICE. My day was already starting off bad and in a flash, I mean, bang, it nearly got ruined. I will make the most out of the rest of the day I have, and try to let this incident get past me."

Damn me, really about to have an existential crisis over a school detention. 13-year-old me may have been churlish but I did have good moments like this, and I was able to sympathize with Mr. R, even if I was being unfairly punished. Anyway, I then go on a bit of a tangent to my counselor:

"Tbh I don't even know why I sent this situation to you. What are you going to do, call the police? I guess what you can do is (assuming you read this) is tell me how YOU thought of the situation and my response. Was I overly dramatic or immature? Did I leave out details that might change the situation? Tell me anything."

Once again, even though 13-year-old me had frequent stupid moments, I'm glad I was able to ask for improvement strategies and had self-awareness. Making progress, me. Like always. Oh yeah, remember how earlier I said something about being in "the lobby"? Well...

"Wait! One last thing...so um, I kinda managed to actually SAVE myself from my mom's wrath because I fibbed. Ok ok calm down- what happened was that last time, I realized I only finished half of my assignment, and it was late by FOUR DAYS. I finished it and submitted it, but worried that I'd get a detention for it the next day. So I came up with a clever evil plan...I simply told my dad this morning that I'd "have an extra school project after school, at 3 pm". That way, if I got a detention, Dad would think I was just doing a project. Is it malicious? Yes. But is it smart? Yes. And I actually didn't get a detention for that, so I thought I'd simply have 40 minutes of freedom in the lobby...how painfully ironic. Anyways, I got some homework to do now..."

Hahaha, maybe I don't give 13-year-old me enough credit.

But anyway, the full-class detention arc ended surprisingly swiftly...

"WE ESCAPED!!! MR R LET US OUT AT 2:43 AND NOT 3!!!!!
I KNOW ITS ONLY 20 MINUTES BUT STILL! VICTORY I TELL YOU, VICTORY!

The mystery of who threw the cracker however remains unsolved. But I know for a fact I'll get justice one day..." 

(Spoiler alert: I did NOT get justice one day.)

The Classroom Conspiracy (ft. Mrs. P)

So, yeah, that's the annoying story of how the infamously hated "one of you did it so I'm going to punish all of you" strategy gave everyone a detention. However, we're not done yet, as there was an epilogue with my counselor eventually responding to my rather unhinged email...

"Hi [A.B]
Wow, what a story! As you know, you're an excellent writer and I really felt like I was there. I'm glad you ended up getting out early, but I understand how frustrating it is to be kept after school for something you didn't do.

Do you have any suspects in mind? I don't know who's in your Civics class, but there have to be 'the usual suspects.' Do you know if Mr. R involved the principal?

I can't say it's good to lie to your parents, but 'little white lies' are necessary sometimes in life. Don't beat yourself up over it.

Thanks for sending me such a well-written email about the situation. Maybe we can try to find a few minutes to talk more about it tomorrow.

Hang in there. You're a wonderful young man & a wonderful student!! Don't ever forget that!
-Ms. P"

Can I just mention something I love about Mrs. P is that even when I'm clearly at my lowest (or most obnoxious), she still manages to show support and empathy for me? School guidance counselors for the win!

So then I of course replied with this long explanation of my intense theories about-...a very trivial incident, when I think of it in the long run. It's VERY intense, strap right in! (I will use M and J for suspects btw, and any time I say something new, I put it in brackets]

"Thanks Ms. P!

Here's the As to your Qs (stole from Odd1sOut):

"Do you have any suspects in mind?"

Yes, there is some suspects, mainly the clowny boys who always get yelled at our have to leave. [Look at that.]

I'll try not too look like I'm gossiping when I say the two main suspects named were M and J. Both were around the table where the popper wrapper was left (which was STILL there when I went to detention), but honestly I (PERSONALLY) think  M is more suspicious because he managed to describe most of the incident in oddly accurate detail. He also wore red today- I'm kidding. [Why is there an Among Us reference? ...oh wait.]

But I DO know M is acting kinda weird. Even if he didn't do it, SURELY he witnessed what happened. In fact- that's another thing- there were apparently no witnesses. How? There were like 6 people surrounding the tables and NO ONE didn't snitch? Were they too scared to tell on them? Or were they a friend of who did it? 

It's like a murder mystery. Huh...maybe I could write a horror story based on this where a group of adults will all go to jail after someone gets murd-...put to indefinite sleep but everyone's there. (I know that wouldn't happen in real life, but could a man create a wretched being that murders his brother, cousin, and mom?) [I'm referencing Frankenstein]"

You know, I'm actually kinda invested in this story now...even though I experienced it. I mean, there's conspiracy, there's theory, there's suspects, there's ethical dilemmas- THERE'S EVERYTHING!! Anyway, I adressed her question involving Mr. R and the principal:

"Yes, I think Mr. R is related to the principal. I quite literally saw the principal enter the room as everyone was complaining and stuff, whilst Mr. R stood by, and the principal moved on. So I guess the principal agreed for this? Or just didn't care? Woah woah I'm jumping for conclusions. I don't know man."

Now that I think of it, maybe my writing style is that I just write like I'm talking in real life. No one says "Woah, woah," when writing an email they'll eventually proofread. Anyway, we get this surprising moment of maturity, which references an act of immaturity from 7th grade (which literally begins with "Now that I think of it..."):

"Now that I think of it, the more I think of the situation the less I'm mad at Mr. R. I feel most people forget teachers are people to. And just put yourself in his shoes. You're trapped for 9 months with a group of rowdy obnoxious loud teenagers who constantly misbehave and annoy others. And you still have...uh...7 months to go. 

Admitely, I do have my own opinions on my teachers. For example, I don't like how strict [the math teacher] is to our class. I've heard the statement "Ok, I am very disappointed with you" 15 times. That's not an exaggeration, it's probably 15 by now. 

BUT, after the whole uh...[7th grade math teacher] fiasco where I was like "uGH yoUr faILng uR stOodEnts I wUz sO smOrt nO oNe pAssed" SHUT UP. SHUT UP 12 YEAR OLD ME. 

You're- you're not smart. I mean, you're smart academically...but you still gotta learn stuff mentally.  [Well Jesus Christ this got way too real!] 

Anyway, as I said, I learned not to mess around and gossip around teachers and kinda keep my opinions UNLESS I'm actually concerned.

Oh. There were only two questions. Uh....now what? I guess I just gotta say that the last statement you said reminds me "Don't ever forget that!" is something my brain tends to forget.  Like, I'm complimented by both my friends and my teachers like 4 times a week, and yet I'm still obsessing over the thing I did 2 months ago. It's a struggle, yes, but I will try and get past myself to stop overthinking and move on and grow. [Seriously, this is getting too real...]

Perhaps maybe I have such low confidence in my school performance is because GRAMMARLY IS  POINTING OUT...how many mistakes? Wha- NINETEEN?! Oh- it's twenty three now. -_- (Note to self: delete Grammarly soon)

Anyways, see you hopefully tomorrow! I can't wait for our next meeting honestly, we haven't had one in A MONTH.

- A.A"

Of course though, because I'm 13, I still had to end the note on a somewhat immature note. You see for some reason I was sensitive to my counselor misspelling my name in my emails, so I got a bit heated at her in the end with an overdramatic comment.

"This is just to ironically point out how EVERYONE SPELLS MY NAME [A.B.] LIKE MY NAME IS SPELLED [A.A.A.] DO YOU THINK [A.B.] IS HOW I WRITE MY NAME??!"

IS IT ME OR DO I HAVE THIS WEIRD OBSESSION WITH SCREAMING IN MY WRITING??!?!

Also...chill, bro. It's a nickname. 

Before my counselor sent one final email in that chain, I somewhat redeemed myself with this extra email:

"EXTRA!! EXTRA!! [Seriously, obsession with screaming.]

I also initially had a theory that maybe the cracker was released accidentally. And whilst it may have...the real question we need to solve is...why did a student have a fire popper in the first place?

'Yuh oh! We just had a birthday party in the middle of Science class, and I have an extra popper! I have no time to put in my locker. I guess I'll just bring it with me- [BANG!] ...oop.'"

You're getting there, 13-year-old me. My counselor sent me one last email:

"[A.A.]!!!  (Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry.  I never even thought about how [A.A.] would be spelled.  It makes all the sense in the world that [A.A.] NOT [A.B.] would be the nickname/shortened form of [A.A.A.].  Hopefully I won't forget this. 

Seriously, look, SHE'S apologizing and being empathetic after stupid 13-year-old me sent the most back-handed explanation ever. If that doesn't tell you what type of person she is, I don't know what that is. She is one of a kind. Which, by the way...thanks, for considering that, Mrs. P. I don't think I ever said thanks for that.

Your email made me laugh out loud (lol) in several places and you made a lot of really good points.  I can't believe that no one has "given up" the culprit yet.  It will happen soon enough if it hasn't already.  Teenagers aren't very good at keeping things like that quiet.

I know, I can't believe we haven't met in an entire month!!  We could always schedule time during one of your exploratories or maybe SEL/WIN if there's anything you'd like to touch base about.  Just let me know.  Keep on being the wonderful student & person you are!!  See you tomorrow :)" 

*sniff* She is amazing and more people should be like her.

Ending (of Sorts)

So, as I told you earlier, we sadly never did figure out which idiot started this whole mess in the first place. And we probably never will...or will we? Hmm...I know you're out there somewhere...FESS...UP. I'm kidding, I'm totally not petty over stuff like that!...totally...


Thankfully, I have never gotten a detention since. And I hope I don't again later on...but who knows.

I feel like there's a lot to take away from this rather funny in hindsight story:

First of all, teenagers are immature. Even if they think they aren't immature. I'm a victim of the Dunning-Krueger effect.

Secondly, teachers are human to, so if they seem crabby, try and sympathize with them.

Thirdly, guidance counselors are amazing and I absolutely would be a much worse person without people like them.

Fourthly, I'm still the same old A.A. as I've always been. Just changing, slowly, for the better.

Lastly, and this is the most important take-away you should have...

DON'T. BRING. A FIRE CRACKER. TO CLASS.

Thanks for reading!

- ninesevenpotatoes, 2025

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The Most Intense Detention Of My Life (Ft. 13-year-old me & My middle-school counselor)

[Excuse me for mild profanity used in the first few paragraphs of this story.] Left to right: The suspect, Mr. R, me (15), Mrs. P, me (13) I...