The Closest I've Ever Been to a "Fight"

FIRST POST OF 2026 BABY!

You remember how in my Detention blog post I off-handedly mentioned:

"...considering I had done worse in the past. Y'know, like... punching a student. Yep. (Story for another day!)"

Turns out today is "another day". Why I chose today is because I actually vented about this story to my counselor today. It may be old, but I still find it a bit relevant and kind of a cringe funny, like all of my old stories. I'd just like to clarify: I don't find myself a "violent" person, but I do sometimes do impulsive things when I'm angry, and this story is an example of one.

Stalling aside, let me get into it.

Prologue

Let's set the scene: Early 2023. I often site 6th through 8th grade to the years where I was at my worst. I was insufferable, miserable, full of myself, bullied others, thought I was wise, bla bla bla basic overconfident middle school INTP behavior.

In particular I remember I was rude and often dismissive to my teachers, mostly my 7th grade Math and English teacher. They didn't deserve that, and I'm sorry. This story takes place in 7th grade specifically.

I'm not sure what lead up to this, but I remember angsty 12 year old me was feeling really bad in the middle of Math class. Maybe I was just in one of those moods. I was also bored by the lesson because- to brag, 12 year old me "knew everything" that year. (I didn't, but knew most, so I lied to myself). 

For some reason, I then went to the bathroom and actually was tempted to skip class entirely, as I went to the end of the hallway instead of class. I'm not sure what my plan was, though. The math teacher caught me a few minutes afterwards and reported me back to class, as I spent the rest of the class in misery.

You notice how disconnected this story actually is? I don't know why I was upset, I don't know why I was tempted to skip class, I don't know at all. I really don't get me sometimes. But this leads up to the title.

Incident

Now, I mentioned I bullied others, but I myself was also bullied due to being a miserable, aloof smart aleck. It actually sounds like a toxic cycle when I think of it. I don't know which came first, but regardless, it was just obnoxious.

In this specific instance, I was sitting on a bench waiting for lunch, wallowing to myself. One of my classmates, we'll call him Kaden, began to taunt me by trying to push me off the bench. I remember him spouting something like "No one likes you, A.A". ...and that's when I snapped.

Soon enough, I decided to punch him back in the chest and walk away.

...and that was all.

...no, really, that's all. What, did you expect something more flashy? No, just angsty pre-teen punches one of his classmates because he was bullying him.

Now, if this was a fake story, I would've gone on all badass, and that kid would respect me from now on. But this is reality, so guess what happened instead?

Reprimand

As anger-induced that punch was, I also felt a bit guilty. That guilt quickly dialed up to 20 when during lunch, I was called into the dreaded Principal's Office.

Now, before we continue, I would just like to bring up...I find it VERY interesting how no one reported Kaden pushing me on the bench and verbally bullying me, but the moment I fought back, that's when it gets reported. Great job stopping bullying, school. 

Anyway, moment I get into the Principal's Office, I begin bawling once I'm chastised for hurting Kaden. I was very remorseful and apologetic, not hoping for the worst. I specifically remember the principal even mentioning he had a " sore red mark" on his stomach, and me, in sobby tears, cried "tHat MaKes mE fEEl WoRSE!" Which...y'know, knowing I was even capable of such violence at 12 genuinely does make me regret the entire thing.

I remained crestfallen until Kaden and my middle school counselor arrived, and I began to explain further what happened. I remember the Principal looking at Kaden and wondering why he would tell me something like that, and Kaden admitted he did it mostly because others said stuff like that about me.

My counselor, as usual, was amazing though, as while I was obviously scolded for punching a student, she told Kaden at the same time not to trust in rumors and still respect me. I apologized at the end of it all, and came out feeling a bit better, if still angsty.

Epilogue

I remember coming home that day and my mom found out about the incident, but she wasn't too mad, just glad I wasn't in too much trouble. I also remember my brother came home that day, and when he found out about why I hit Kaden, he actually justified it! That's how older brothers be sometimes.

For any takeaways from this story: an obvious one is adolescents are stupid, but another obvious one is bullying can be a toxic cycle. I never want to hurt someone as violently as I did here, no matter how bad they made me feel. At the same time, verbal bullying is just as hurtful as physical bullying.

While I think some of low social status was my fault, justifying how others thought of me, at the same time, you don't tell someone "nobody likes you". Things like that can sting, just as bad as a punch.

Hope Kaden is doing ok nowadays. Thanks for reading my lil' story!

- ninesevenpotatoes, 2026

P.S. This was unintentional, but did you notice the initials of each section spell out "PIRE"?

Aliology: An Anger Analogy

(This comic will make sense once I get to the analogy.)

Random fun fact of the day: "I am angry!" In Spanish is "¡Estoy enojada!"

A few weeks ago, I was having a very frustrating day for reasons I won't explain, and I did some very rash things which I look back on with disappointment. However, one smart thing I did during that period was rant in my journal for a page.

Later, I mostly forgot about the morning and wanted to go to the library. It was closed earlier today and I didn't know. I overreacted to say the least and I regret it also. It wasn't even that bad in retrospect, but it's still kind of embarrassing to explain what I did, so I won't.

As I cooled down, I went to the bus stop and realized how dangerous impulsive rage really is. I usually take my anger out on objects, but in future, I could start lashing out on people or more valuable things, which isn't a healthy emotional regulation skill.

I remembered I drew a half jokey poster and put in my school about cheering yourself up when your having a bad day. It pictured a drawing of a frog eating flies.

So, I opened up my new sketchbook my mom bought me and drew what represented me at the moment.

By the end I was calmer and actually able to reflect and chuckle at my impulsive misbehavior. Then the bus arrived, and now I'm home.

I opened up my journal again and read through some of my angsty words. I mentally laughed again, and began writing again now from a better perspective. By the end of my reflection on the day, I figured this would be a good thing to blog about.

So ultimately, here's what I've learned:

Taking anger out on an object is still bad. But don't hold in all your frustration either, as that's just a replacement for being sad. Instead...

1) Allow yourself to feel these emotions, but don't outwardly express them in a harsh or possibly irreversible way.

2) Use some sort of calming strategy that doesn't involve violence. Drawing, journaling, taking a walk, you know the deal. You could even cry if you want. Or take it on something you know isn't valuable...like a pillow.

3) By the time your done with your meltdown, reflect on what your upset about. Is it actually that big of deal you thought it would be? Now solve the problem in a more reasonable manner.

And there you go! Note that this strategy is very variable depending on the type of person you are. But overall, it seems to be working for me. I'm still having trouble with my anger, but I hope I improve in the future with strategies like this.

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To end this post off, let me explain the actual anger analogy I entitled this post.

A small match is easy to ignite. But it's also very easy to put it out when you know what you're doing.

If you don't know what you're doing, that small match can start a fire...then erupt into an uncontrollable house inferno.

Even when it eventually dies out...there's still damage to that house. It might take a long while before it can be repaired. 

- A.A.

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Thanks for reading!

What would you like me to talk about next?

- ninesevenpotatoes, 2025