I'm a week into July and I promised myself that I would do some more things this summer. One of which was more blog posts, so here's another quick one to hold myself over about what's happened so far.
First of all, still no new laptop yet. I'm writing this from the library computers. Woohoo. They only allow for 2 hours maximum per day, which actually is kind of good for me, because it helps me priortize my work I want to do on the computer. In specific, I'm working on a game that I won't reveal the name of right now, but I hope it'll be out by Fall of this year. (I say hope, not will.)
I've been wanting to read more this Summer as well. I still need to finish this indepedent reading book left over from 10th grade called Words on Bathroom Walls, which is about a boy, Adam, with schizophrenia who has to navigate his hallucinations, school life, an experimental drug, parental troubles, and a new love life with his classmate Maya.
Right now, I have two other books I'm reading. The first (which I actually just finished as of writing) is a middle-grade novel called The Unteachables, which is about a class of juvenile delinquents being taught by an apathetic teacher. Said delinquents struggle with dyslexia, anger issues, hyper fixations, and home issues. It took 15 days, and one day specifically I was able to read 80 pages in one session somehow. Normally I'm so fryed I can only read 15 - 25 pages in one session, but I was able to read for over an hour at that one time. I usually read 1 page in 2 minutes.
Last is my Summer reading book, the longest of them all- A Good Girl's Guide to Murder. The book is about a senior girl named Pip, who for her senior Capstone project, wants to shine light into a murder that has haunted the town 5 years ago, where a senior named Sal was accused of killing his girlfriend, Andie, and later died by suicide. I'm only about 60 pages in but there's a lot in it so far.
My goal is to finish these all of these books by the end of the summer. (The Summer reading book especially cuz..that's a grade.) Because of these books and my computer time, I've been going to the library nearly every day so far this summer, except on weekends. I walk 15 minutes to and from the library everyday, meaning I get nearly 30 minutes of exercise per day. That also ties in with how I would like to spend less time offline and more in the real world, even if I don't get to socialize much.
Honestly, I'm starting to notice more of the toxic side of the internet. I won't go further into this day but I remember at some point during this July a former friend of mine just became some awful harasser and tried to spread rumors about my peers supporting pedophiles. I'm not going further into that but it is a good reminder: you never truly know the people you know online, and the people you do know are more than texts and pfps. They are real people with families, friends, and thoughts...like you and me.
I will say these last few days have been a bit more depressing for me for convoluted reasons, but I'll keep it brief: the heat wave and electricity issues at my house forced me to essentially live by myself in a hotel for three days. And I just found out this will only be resolved by next Monday, so this week has honestly just been pretty bitter. In fact, lemme just copy and paste a vent I said yesterday to allow myself to be emotionally vulnerable:
"As much as I like not having school, I kind of miss it solely on the basis I honestly had more stability than I do in my life right now. I don't want to explain furtger what depressing things in my life are happening but I will say
I genuinely miss having human interactions with friends even though I was already introverted. I don't feel comfortable talking with much of my family right now so it almost feels like I'm on my own. I can drown myself in my digital life as much as I want but at its core online friends aren't the same
Not to say I don't appreciate my online friends, it's just I want to see more than text sometimes. I've never felt so alone and stuck right now and only I can pick myself back up without truly opening whats bothering me. I feel like promises are getting constantly let down"
Lets move on to some more positive things to end off this blog post. First of all, like last year, I'm doing Art Fight, and I've been doing even better than last year. Right now, I've made 13 attacks, 2 friendly fire, and I've gotten 8 defenses myself. I'll probably make another blog post eventually about all my attacks. I love Art Fight because it's an opportunity for me to share my art and grow as an artist.
It's also unintentionally reminding me of some key morals I should apply: first of all, I should count my blessings and be grateful of everything I have gotten so far instead of whining to myself about what I haven't gotten. After all, ungrateful people are unhappier, and I certainly would like to be less miserable. Art Fight is meant to be a fun, open place for everyone, and all the artists I see there are so talented and amicable.
I also have to remember Art Fight is not meant to be competitive: I started out making 3 attacks per day, but that has slowed down a bit right now. Regardless, I shouldn't feel ashamed. It's not about making as many attacks as possible, it's about putting love and effort into the attacks I do make. After all, these attacks are meant to show how much I love all these other artists' characters. I do have a goal of at least 45 attacks by the end of the month, which is more than last year.
Aside from Art Fight, I have also journaled a bit more this month, and I think it's helping me become more emotionally honest with myself. My anxiety and overthinking has been at an all time high, but I have to remember: it's better to be done then to be perfect.
Anyway, Art Fight out the way, lemme end this needlessly long blog post by sharing: I love VP Awesome and his down to Earth videos. I made a playlist of them for a reason. He's one of my favorite YTbers because he's honest about his struggles and I relate to them. Wheter it be learning to pick himself back up when life knocks him back down, trying to find the "little boy" version of himself when he was younger, or remembering to pursue what I want to do without giving up.
That's pretty much the lowdown of a lot of what's been going on. I remember I initally began writing this a week ago and it was titled "Brief June recap". I just added the "NOT" point when I realized this is probably longer than ANY single essay I wrote in 10th grade. Speaking of which, since I know my 9th grade teacher reads my blogs, lemme ask you: how's your summer?
Hope you enjoyed diving into some of the messed up mind of A.A here. Bye!
- ninesevenpotatoes, 2026
